Monday, June 16, 2008

and the sun is shining in this rainy city...

my little wonder kitty :)
for now, anyways. I think it's supposed to thunderstorm yet again, this afternoon. The weather this past weekend was as fickle as my mood was the past week. My week had its share of ups and downs so I didn't really feel like posting anything. I'm still having a hard time getting my thoughts out...

See, while I would like people to believe that I have my life under control - as much as anyone can - and my business is thriving, for the past several months I've been job hunting. Much to my chagrin and as much as I don't want to have to work outside of the house again, the winter months were harsh. And well, with mortgage payments and the need to eat, getting a part-time job has become an essential part of my living equation. But for some reason or another, I can't seem to catch a break. My most recent potential job, which I had to pass a test for - which I did - got put on hold until the end of the summer. I found that out on Monday.

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Come Wednesday, when I took Suki in to the vet, it was confirmed that she has asthma. So she now needs to take pills for the rest of her life to keep it under control. Just one more expense to add to my list. But of course, she is like our baby, so there's nothing I wouldn't do to make sure she's okay. Dex, too. Life just wouldn't be the same without them around. Look at face... how can you resist?

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So, it was one of those weeks that I had to question "What the hell am I doing with my life?" I feel like I've accomplished certain goals that I've wanted to, but really wish that I was in a better place financially. I'm thankful that Matt has been working for a great company for nearly a year now. But I know that he would love to be in my position - save for the financial struggles - working on his own projects. Why does it have to be a tossup between a steady paycheck and doing what you love to do? I know it doesn't have to be... the real question is how do I make it our reality? Having a steady income, doing what we love. Hopefully soon, I will be able to say that is our truth.

3 comments:

Tara Fortin said...

I understand this post. I feel the same lately.

At least you know what you love to do and pursue it, which is more than most people do. If it wasn't scary and difficult to be your own boss, everyone would do it.

cathy peng said...

Aw, I hope your spirit is lifted soon too. I blame it on the recession!

I know I should be thankful to be able to do what I do. There are a lot of people in this world who are worse off than I am and other creative types who are doing what we love. But when you depend on other people to buy your stuff in order to be able to eat or pay rent, it can be a little daunting.

Here's wishing us both mountains of sales and success, however you define it!

HELENE J said...

You love cats, don't you ? ;-)
(nice blog anyway!!)